When you don’t take your clothes off the line, it will rain… all night… oh, your dryer will be broken too.
When you have a car with a funky radiator, always carry water.
If you use the wrong kitty litter, they will go on the floor until you get the right kind.
If a relationship has to be a secret, you shouldn’t be in it.
When you rush out the door, you will forget your coupon and will have to pay full price for that yarn you just can’t live without.
The truth will set you free.
No matter how many stupid mistakes you make, your true friends will look past them and still love you.
Honesty is the best policy.
When they replace the copier at work, you will, at least once, make 50 copies of ten page booklets, stapled and hole-punched with nothing on them. And you will do this when the boss walks by.
When you can’t count on yourself, you can count on your friends.
The day you wear that heavy sweater to work, the clouds will break and you will have record heat.
The one time in five years you mail your rent check from your mail box instead of the post office, it will get stolen.
When you can avoid it, it’s best not to make enemies.
Always turn on the light before you walk barefoot into the kitchen, especially if you have a slug problem.
Sometimes the high road is more painful but it is always the best choice.
Cats will hide hairballs as surprises for you. Usually in the underwear you were too lazy to put away.
When you walk down the driveway and read your mail simultaneously, you will slip on that patch of pine needles that you meant to sweep up.
If you’re going to fall, you will fall in the street or parking lot…and people will not stop to help…unless of course it’s the 95 year-old lady with the cane.
The day you finally get up the guts to wear that expensive blouse, you will spill coffee on it and not just a little, but the whole cup…and it will be in the front where you can’t hide it…and it will be too busy to go home and change.
It’s a bad idea to pour laundry soap in the washer when your hands are wet.
If the foaming soap says one pump will do, one pump will do.
Always look to make sure that brownie you are about to eat isn’t moving… ants love brownies.
When you get on an elevator with a cup of coffee with no lid in a correctional facility, they will close the door on you spilling coffee down your shirt. They will apologize but you can hear the rest of the staff laughing in the background. That’s when you remember you are always on camera in a correctional facility.
When you have to go around and collect papers from students, you will see one of them picking their nose right before they hand you their paper…
When your boss asks you to delete every file except the s1 file, you will delete the s1 file.
It's good to laugh at yourself and your situation now and again...it keeps your humanness and your sense of joy through the tough times...
Thanks so much to all my wonderful friends who help me get through... you are all loved...