Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Observations of human behavior

  • Whenever I hear someone cough or sneeze at work or on the bus, I want to yell "SWINE FLU".

  • Sarcasm is lost on some people.

  • Why do women think it's OK to yell at and publicly ridicule their men? And why do those men put up with it? And vice versa.

  • Why is it that some women think the only way they can get help is to speak in a whiny, baby voice and act helpless? Don't they know how annoying that is?

  • What part of "print your name" don't you understand?

  • Why is it that after you tell someone you don't have what they want, they keep asking for it?

  • Why do people feel compelled to keep asking the same question in different ways? Do they really expect me not to know what they are doing?

  • Or do they expect me to be worn down and give them what they want?

  • Why do people feel it's OK to yell across the room when they have a question?

  • Why do they ask for your opinion when they are just going to say, I don't think that's right?

  • Do I have a target on my forehead? Why in the last week have I been accosted three times at the bus stop by people whose gender is indefinable?

  • Why do people who don't know you feel it's OK to touch you in public? Or call you sweetheart?

  • Does the fact that I am wearing headphones and reading a book not make it clear I don't want to talk to you?

  • Do you really expect to get good service after you are the customer from hell?

  • Why is it ok for you to be a jerk but if I tell you that's not something we can do here, you go and complain and try to get me fired?

  • Do you realize you are talking on your cell phone while sitting under the sign that says please step outside to answer your cell phone?

  • When you smell like a pot plant, it will be harder to get a job.

  • You said what?!? And you're surprised she told you off?

  • No, that tattoo that says" fuck you" across your forehead won't keep you from getting a public service job.

  • Yeah, no one has used cocksucker as their password and then forgotten it and had have someone your mother's age look it up for you.

  • Hotsexymama@whatever.com is not a professional email address.

  • Wouldn't you rather put "customer service" than "service customers" on your list of job skills?

  • Sometimes the only thing that works is being a broken record.

  • Excellent communication skills does not include using profanity every third word.

  • No, Internet and email are not the same thing.

  • Isn't it Friday yet?

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